Common conversational topics for narcissists include accomplishments and achievements (the trophy complex), exciting and envy-worthy activities, excessive focus on personal issues and concerns, excessive focus on looks and materialism, and putting others down to show one’s own superiority. Charming and Romantic – But with a Catch Many narcissists can come across as alluring and attractive, especially during the initial stages of a relationship, when they’re trying to win you over. Also, while you have time to think things through and he loves you so couples therapy can be suggested, or just counseling to help him deal with his narcissism.
Like a master salesperson, they use charisma to get your attention, flattery to make you feel special, seduction (flirting, gifts, dinners, get-aways, sex, etc.) to lift you off your feet, and persuasion to get you to give them what they want. Though I will tell you know that some Narcissists are STUBBORN and them thinking they are always in the right won't help.
Sara was twenty-seven, and what people used to call a wag: smart, quick-witted, encyclopedic.
She could recount every failed Everest expedition in mesmerizing detail -- the sort of a talent I would expect of a rock climber, not someone who'd never gone camping. Then I found out."There's something you should know about me," she said, a couple of hours into the date. I tried to remember if I'd sipped from her drink."I'm bipolar," she said."Good," I replied.
You spend the earlier parts of your relationship trying to “read” the other person; trying to make sure you’re both on the same page.
Then, once you’ve passed that phase, it’s on to really getting to know the other person.
“We spoke of the perfect wedding, of names for our children – we dared to dream.”As tends to happen, however, their dreams were interrupted by reality and, in Paddy’s case, that reality includes his girlfriend’s Borderline Personality Disorder.
“To say that this relationship has been a roller coaster would be an understatement.
I'd had several close bipolar friends, and had once been in a long-term relationship with a bipolar woman, Nyla, whom I still consider the smartest person I'd ever met.At the end of my first date with Sara, she moved in with me. Until that night, we'd only spoken on the phone a few times. By the time the ice in my soda had melted, I'd fallen in love. We'd gone to a Hollywood hamburger stand and gabbed about bands and writers for four hours.Those moments are what the person longs for.”Still, to Paddy, it is worth it.“I try to see the light,” he says, and he believes that one day his girlfriend will overcome her BPD.“It’s hard being in a relationship with someone who suffers from BPD.But it is nowhere near as hard as being the one with BPD.From a distance, I'd seen how much energy it took Nyla to keep her episodes under control: weekly doctor's visits, blood tests, complicated regimens of medications.And yet for all their problems, my bipolar buddies had always kept things interesting. Nine months into their relationship, he and his girlfriend have moved past the early days of butterflies and uncertainty and have begun developing a true bond, the kind that begins to take hold when you become familiar with each other, learn each other’s rhythms, and begin to truly see each other.“There have been times where I have been so infatuated and so blissfully happy that I felt like running away with her,” he says.