All it takes is a couple questions to get that going. These are similar to favorites and can be expounded on, but are great for rapid-fire, too. No interrogating (no need to ask all 100 questions at once); no vague "so, what's new with you? This deck came directly out of her work with adolescent clients in psychotherapy.It offers a playful and engaging way to look at all the issues worthy of consideration in relationships. The best communication occurs with an even and equal exchange between two people. Getting to know someone new is like peeling an onion one thin layer at the time. But some people, overeager to get into deep and meaningful conversation, go too far too fast. This is torture.” She thinks, “Why doesn’t he ask me any questions? But the ability to speak is only one part of the equation—and not the most important part. There are three very important questions, however, that can and should be asked, questions that will help get to a core of valuable information across that landscape.Your teenager will benefit from hearing the importance of these questions in small doses, over and over, in different settings, and from different angles, in order for this wisdom to become familiar and integrated.
How does Reuben cope with his ailment, and how is his character influenced by it?" Just a few questions spread throughout the date night, or even throughout the week. I notice the lull in conversation, and I start with a prolonged "Whhhhaat..." in hopes that something fun, funny or profound will follow. Instead, all that slips out is a line from Monty Python and the Holy Grail: "What... " The other night that lead to a full conversation of our favorite Monty Python bits ("are you suggesting that coconuts migrate? Begin your discussion of this book by recounting the major and minor miracles that occur throughout. Throughout the book, Reuben is preoccupied with his own breathing, and the act of breathing functions in this story as a metaphor for life itself. Born with a severe case of asthma, Reuben Land, our young hero and narrator, must often struggle to bring air into his lungs. A man and woman face each other across a table at a downtown bistro, looking nervous and awkward. There is a stiff formality to the way they sit—no slouching. In reality, premature or exaggerated revelations are due more to boundary issues, unresolved pain, or self-centeredness than true intimacy. Maybe your first date questions will lead you to discover that this person is your soul mate—or maybe not. All the observable and obvious clues: They are nicely groomed and wearing freshly pressed clothes—stylish, but not overdone. Should the relationship evolve, there will be plenty of time to get into weighty topics. When a person reveals too much too soon, it can give a false sense of intimacy. Along with losing your relationship, you lose your lifestyle, the goal of raising your children in an intact... And you’re excited to see where the relationship might lead. Karen Finn Major breakups, like divorce or the end of an engagement, knock you down in just about every way imaginable.This guest post is by Elsbeth Martindale, Psy D has written a complete set of 76 relationship assessment questions, in the form of a card deck, to ask before deepening relationship commitment.The deck and accompanying book are called Things to Know Before Your Say “Go”.